Tonight I’m struggling with my eating. I knew I would today as my food was out of my control. I has one of my best friend’s hen parties today, and I only felt up to going to a small part of it so I went to the afternoon tea part. The food was displayed beautifully on each table for us to help ourselves to, which is never good for a binge eater! Once I started I couldn’t stop. I’ve probably consumed all of today’s syns already yet still my ‘fuck it button’ has been pushed. Despite desperately wanting to draw that line I am really struggling to do it. So much so that I have now binged. I haven’t even photographed most of what I’ve eaten, which is a bad sign for me. I know for a fact that I’ve consumed more than my weekly syn allowance and I’m only on day two of my week which is far from ideal. I’m left feeling emotional exhausted from all the turmoil and physically exhausted after a few nights of little sleep so I’m off to bed in the hope that I will wake up refreshed and ready to start a clean slate. ——— Despite how I’m feeling about my eating I did have a lovely day today, it was really lovely to chat to my friends, catch up and laugh hysterically at all the games. On the way home I was driving almost past my best friend from university’s house so called to see if she fancied catching up. I don’t think I’ve seen her since 2014 or 2015, which is crazy when we only live an hour and a bit apart. She always used to tell me to pop in if ever I was passing but previously I blocked myself out and shut myself off from friends. Today I changed that. I gave her a call and went round to see her! It was so incredible to catch up and I’m proud of myself for pushing myself out of my comfort zone! #notsoslimmingworld#offplantan#bingeeating#bingeeatingrecovery#bingeeatingdisoder#slimmingworldsupport#lifestylechangenotadiet
At the start of March when I started telling people I had joined an online community of coaches and was starting to exercise and eat healthier I had a mixture of opinions! ✨ Some said "You don't need to diet, you are fine as you are" and others criticised the areas of my body I need to change! Then you had the ones who laughed and said "It won't last". ✨ My reply was I am not dieting, it is more about changing my lifestyle and becoming healthier and fitter! It is not a phase I am going through and I am determined to make it work! ✨ I never really did any exercising before and always made excuses as to not doing it. I was never really a lover of going to the gym. Always felt to self conscious and hated people watching me. That's probably why this works for me. I get to do brilliant workouts at home! I can't wait to get changed into my workout clothes and get my workout done! I am genuinely upset if a day goes past now and I haven't gotten my workout done! I would never have believed I would ever feel like that about exercising! ✨ I am so grateful for taking that step and agreeing to this journey. I am becoming stronger, fitter, more toned, more confident and genuinely happier in myself. As well as loving the changes in my body I am starting to like what I see in the mirror! ✨ I cannot for any reason think I would ever go back to being that person I was at the beginning of this year. This is definitely a permanent change not a temporary one!