The trauma I’ve been through has left me with missing parts in my memory. I guess it’s my brain trying to protect me but some bits of a traumatic day I can’t remember at all, days that are important. I know something bad has happened, when I think about the day I get sick dizzy and anxiety takes over. It leaves me in this anxious limbo of not knowing how to feel. Some movements and sounds can remind me and take me back but I can’t remember what has happened. I’ve managed to put together some bits with recordings I have found on my phone and witnesses but it’s absolutely terrifying to not know everything that’s happened to me. Some days I rattle my head trying to remember. Others I’m scared I will remember..
My best friend @maggieruwi is here for the weekend! She is visiting me from Colorado! we walked all around Berkeley, I tried Ethiopian food (for the first time!!), and we reminisced about funny college memories ❤️ my friends are so key to my recovery as they keep me grounded and connected. Eating disorders thrive in isolation and I can't think of a better antidote for them than friendship ❤️
"Breathe deep out on the ocean even amidst the rising waves. It is okay to take things slow It is okay if things have changed It is okay to take your time when you do not feel the same, for there is endless, boundless peace, running through the depth of things giving room to breathe and to sleep even in the worst of things." ~ @morganharpernichols I want to make a shoutout to my warrior feet which have been gifted with the strength of my saviour Jesus Christ and which are still walking by grace through an everyday life's battle. Thank God! #jesusisstronger#cerebralpalsy#cp#spasticdiplegia#surgery#depression#ptsd#mentalhealthawareness#iamnotmydiagnosis